I bought them for her because she loved them and it was almost Easter. She was still in the hospital, but then I thought she could eat them when she was out. They were feeding her dry hospital food that she didn't want to eat, so I got her favorite candy.
She was still in the hospital at Easter. We sat together alone without her eating a huge sympathy ham.
When we could finally see her in the hospital, I smuggled them in for her. Not quite believing that she couldn't eat them. She laughed and said she would lick them instead.
She never ate them, because she didn't eat anything anymore. For the week we had her it went from apple juice, to medicine, to nothing.
I finally opened the candy today and ate one. It was a lump in my mouth I could barely eat.
There is always something that pops up. The waves keep coming.
I spent the day responding to this question over and over. I did not say I was good. That is the automatic response I don't think I will ever give again. The last time I answered that way it was a lie.
You get in the habit of saying it to make the other person comfortable. They don't want to actually know how you are doing. You don't want to make them worry.
Luckily, that day, she saw through me. She knew I was lying.
I told her that we knew it was finally/suddenly time. The day my mother would die.
Please don't ask me if I am okay. I don't want to have to pour my heart out to everyone I see.
I think a good example of how your emotions color your experiences came to me today.
There is a train that passes by my apartment at least twice a day. This afternoon, I left and heard the sound of the train passing. It was so sweet. It made me think that I always wanted to be near a train track, so I could hear the noise. The soft call reminding me I am home.
But tonight it is different. I have stayed up later than I should and instead of loving the sound, it brings me to tears. It sounds like it is leaving me behind. I am tired of being behind everyone else. I want to be normal.
I was happy today, I was successful, but now I am sad.
I think it is time to go to bed.
Fandom: The Crazies
I made this because I really enjoyed that there were two monsters in the movie, the crazies and then containment by the military.
I try to be understanding of other people's opinions but sometimes I fail.
Someone on my facebook friend list just joined the group: DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN.
I, do not find that funny. I maybe have hated Bush with a fiery passion but I never ever wished him dead. That is horrible.
*steps down off soapbox*
so....... I guess I stiffel sadness until it overflows. I am drowning tonight. I wish that I was braver. But that is not the case. So I guess this is what I have until I change it.
fantasy only lasts until you awake to reality.
7pm How I Met Your Mother (CBS) 9/21
8pm Trauma (NBC)
7pm NCIS (CBS)
7pm ANTM (CW) 9/09
8pm Criminal Minds (CBS) 9/23
7pm Bones (Fox)9/17 / Flashforward DVR (ABC) 9/24
8pm Supernatural (CW) 9/10 / Grey's Anatomy DVR (ABC) 9/24
9pm Mentalist (CBS) 9/24
7pm Law and Order (NBC) 9/25
8pm Southland (NBC) 10/23/Dollhouse DVR (FOX) 9/25
Mid Season Shows:
Better off Ted
Chuck March 2010