Deb

Marshmallow Eggs

I bought them for her because she loved them and it was almost Easter. She was still in the hospital, but then I thought she could eat them when she was out. They were feeding her dry hospital food that she didn't want to eat, so I got her favorite candy.

She was still in the hospital at Easter. We sat together alone without her eating a huge sympathy ham.

When we could finally see her in the hospital, I smuggled them in for her. Not quite believing that she couldn't eat them. She laughed and said she would lick them instead.

She never ate them, because she didn't eat anything anymore. For the week we had her it went from apple juice, to medicine, to nothing.

I finally opened the candy today and ate one. It was a lump in my mouth I could barely eat.

There is always something that pops up. The waves keep coming.
Deb

Can we all agree to stop asking, if someone is okay?

I spent the day responding to this question over and over. I did not say I was good. That is the automatic response I don't think I will ever give again. The last time I answered that way it was a lie.

You get in the habit of saying it to make the other person comfortable. They don't want to actually know how you are doing. You don't want to make them worry.

Luckily, that day, she saw through me. She knew I was lying.

I told her that we knew it was finally/suddenly time. The day my mother would die.

Please don't ask me if I am okay. I don't want to have to pour my heart out to everyone I see.
Deb

There is a train

I think a good example of how your emotions color your experiences came to me today.

There is a train that passes by my apartment at least twice a day. This afternoon, I left and heard the sound of the train passing. It was so sweet. It made me think that I always wanted to be near a train track, so I could hear the noise. The soft call reminding me I am home.

But tonight it is different. I have stayed up later than I should and instead of loving the sound, it brings me to tears. It sounds like it is leaving me behind. I am tired of being behind everyone else. I want to be normal.

I was happy today, I was successful, but now I am sad.

I think it is time to go to bed.
wanton

Books: a goal

One of my goals this year is to read more and write more so hopefully this will help me out some doing both.

Relentless by Bailey Bradford
http://www.total-e-bound.com/product.asp?strParents=&CAT_ID=&P_ID=944

This is a shifter romance, where one of the men has to get over some serious family and personal history.

While I enjoyed it while I read it I think this one I will not keep. I was just too familiar with its story telling and not enough emotional grip to it for me to want to read it again.

Bodyguards in Love: To Bed a King by Carol Lynne
http://www.total-e-bound.com/product.asp?strParents=&CAT_ID=&P_ID=908

Like most of her books in this series it is about the Bodyguard falling in love with his client.

While I never keep any of her books I end up buying most of the just because they are kinda like popcorn, fun while you are eating it but doesn't stay with you much.
moment in time

Meme Day 01 - A show that should have never been canceled

Day 01 - A show that should have never been canceled

I wish I could say Firefly, but I didn't get into the show until after it was canceled. I tend to not enjoy the first season of any of Joss Whedon's shows until after the first season. But I think the correct answer is, Poltergeist: the Legacy. I loved this show so much, I followed it from the movie channel to Scifi. This was back when Scifi was the savior to all dying but fan favorited science fiction shows. I don't think they really gave this one that fair of a second chance. This was one of the first show that made me want to storm the studios after it got canceled. Unfortunately it doesn't hold up for me in reruns. But for middle school me, this show's cancelation was devastating. No more ex-navy seal Nick or ghost hunting Irish priests.

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YIKES

Wow

I try to be understanding of other people's opinions but sometimes I fail.

Someone on my facebook friend list just joined the group: DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN.

I, do not find that funny. I maybe have hated Bush with a fiery passion but I never ever wished him dead. That is horrible.

*steps down off soapbox*
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated
Deb

Fall TV Schedule for me

M:
7pm How I Met Your Mother (CBS) 9/21
8pm Trauma (NBC)

T:
7pm NCIS (CBS)

W:
7pm ANTM (CW) 9/09
8pm Criminal Minds (CBS) 9/23

Th:
7pm Bones (Fox)9/17 / Flashforward DVR (ABC) 9/24
8pm Supernatural (CW) 9/10 / Grey's Anatomy DVR (ABC) 9/24
9pm Mentalist (CBS) 9/24

F:
7pm Law and Order (NBC) 9/25
8pm Southland (NBC) 10/23/Dollhouse DVR (FOX) 9/25

Mid Season Shows:
Better off Ted
Chuck March 2010
Life Unexpected